So, I am not sure if I previously mentioned this, but life as a grad student, especially a PhD student is pretty crazy. You have your required readings, your recommended readings and then the readings you should be doing just to get yourself smarter. So, I am home on winter break with a backpack full of books that I want to and should be reading. I wanted to talk about a specific book in particular.
Promises I Can Keep was a book that my advisor recommended, but I absolutely love it. Basically, it talks about why poor women (of all races) choose motherhood over marriage. I was really struck by a lot of it. The book talks about why women, many of them in their teens, in poor urban settings get pregnant. It's not because they don't know about birth control or that they are just stupid. In fact, many of the women in book WANT to get pregnant in their late teens and early twenties and kinda just figure if it happens early it happens early. I found this so interesting. I had the misconception that urban teen mothers got pregnant because they didn't think they neeeded birth control or they couldn't afford it.
I know it's going to seem stupid, but I have been watching a lot of trashy television since I have been home. I have been carless for a few days..... but one show I have been watching is Maury. Now if you know anything about the show, basically he does a lot of paternity tests. And it's kinda funny, but my opinion of these girls have changed. I realized that my middle-class values of high school, college, job, marriage, kids have been affecting how I view these girls. I haven't finished the book yet, but I would recommend that anyone who works in an urban setting, especially one that has a high teenage pregnancy rate, reads this book!
BTW: I am going to be an aunt in June!!!
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3 comments:
Do you think that this issue is strictly relevant to poor women? My impression is that women in general are choosing motherhood over marriage. I see growing numbers of successful and accomplished women wanting to have a child but not necessarily wanting a husband. So again, do you feel that this is a class specific issue or do you believe that this is highlighting a more general trend among women in our society?
Well, its a very different issue for poor vs. middle class women. I think many middle class (and above) put off child bearing until they are financially stable. I dunno, though, it's a really great book, you should check it out.
It could also be that they are cynical about ever really finding a life-long partner or being financially stable anyway, so they don't mind getting pregnant whenever it happens because the timing then becomes irrelevant due to their thinking. With the amount of abuse and crime in urban impoverished society, it's gotta be hard to find love and a trustworthy, safe person to spend life with. For that I am sad. It sucks. Maybe then a child gives the woman a sense of purpose. Who knows? It's still hard to understand why a teen would want to be pregnant, though. Thanks for the stimulating discussion. Isabelle
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