Secrets

Did you ever have a secret that you wish you could tell everyone? Well, I do. Hopefully I will be able to share in a week or two, but in the meantime, it's KILLING me. I can't say any more than that! :) It's such a good secret though. I promise.

On another note, I have 3 of my 4 papers finished, which is both good and bad. The last paper is kinda crazy. It's a 20 page positionality paper on queer identity theory and racial identity theory. I have written about 3 pages so far. I am going to lock myself in my office next week until I am finished. Wish me luck!!

Also, I just wanted to say how happy I am to be home for the break. I love my family and my friends, and it was great to see them. The birds were VERY well behaved.

Thanksgiving

So, I got up at 5:30 am, packed up my stuff and the birds and headed out. I drove for 3 hours, and picked up my cousin Josh and his friend Tom in Pittsburgh. The live in this area right near the Pitt campus. I had to go down a cobblestone road and up a super steep hill to get to their place. We drove another 2 hours and stopped to refresh. Sparky, the cockatiel, needed to be fed. Honestly, I needed to be fed too. I was pretty mad because I was craving chicken nuggets but the rest area we stopped at did not have any place to get some. Annoying. It was kinda neat because I was feeding Sparky and everyone thought it was really cute. We then drove another 4.5 hours. I dropped off Josh and Tom and Tom's house and then sprinted the last half an hour home. I am so happy to be here.

I was stoked to see Riley, my parents dog. He liked the birds, a lot. In fact I think he wanted to eat them for dinner. Oh, it was pretty darned cool seeing my parents too. We also had Chinese food for dinner. Unlike the Chinese food in Ohio, this stuff was amazing. Man, I miss NJ. So tomorrow, around 2 we are having 13 people over.

I hope that everyone out there who actually reads my blog has an amazing Thanksgiving!!

Football and Schoolwork

So I really like college football. Professional football does not really impress me. But I am sitting here, eating pizza enjoy OSU kick Michigan's Ass. At the same time I am check ESPN.com and seeing that Rutgers is beating Army 30-3(or something ridiculous like that). I miss being in the band, or at least being in the stands at the game. I HAVE to get football tickets next year. It'll give me some break from all the work.

I had an amazing meeting with my advisor yesterday. We talked about how I was doing this quarter, as well as my plans for next quarter and beyond. I am going to try to write and present a paper for the Ohio NAME (National Association for Multicultural Educators) Conference this summer. Then, assuming it goes well, I am going to try to present next fall at the National NAME conference. I am really excited. Next quarter, I am only taking 3 classes, instead of the 4 I am taking this quarter. I think it'll be much better for me. I mean, if I go a little lighter on the coursework band it takes me an extra quarter or two to finish who really cares? It doesn't do anyone any good if I have a meltdown in the process!!!

It's crunch time....

Well, it's that time of the quarter where we realize that we have about 2 weeks to complete all the end of term papers we were assigned weeks ago. All of my usually lovely friends, including myself, are nuts and cranky. I have decided that once the quarter is over I am going to have a kick ass party for us to all relax, before winter quarter starts us. I am making decent progress. I have 4 papers done. 1 paper needs a final edit, 2 papers need to be finished (which I am planning to do this weekend), and the last paper...well...I haven't even started it. I am kinda intimidated by it so I keep putting it off. I have been thinking about the paper a lot. It is a positionality paper, a chance for me to figure out where I stand in relationship to the theories we have been discussing so far this quarter. I am picking racial formation/identity and queer theory. We are supposed to frame the paper with the questions which form the basic tenants of our program. It's kinda complicated. I'll check back in and let you know how I am doing. For now, rest will be best! :)

The Gym

So I am trying to get my butt to the gym everyday. Not going so well. I went Sunday and Monday. Here's my problem: right now with all of the pressures of class and stuff I am really struggling. I feel like most of my free time, during the day I want to get the reading and writing done that I need to for class. During the night, when I finally get home from class, I want to relax, spend some quality time with the birds and go to sleep. It is so frustrating.

Video

So in one of my classes I am learning about using digital tools in qualitative research. One of the things we are working on is using media such as video and audio files in our research. So I pulled out my video camera, shot a minute or so of the birds,and I am going to post it to my pathetic little blog.

New Blog Idea

So, one of my friends, Laurie, has a really great blog where she gets sent free stuff for her adorable twin boys. She gets all sorts of crazy stuff (usually times 2 for the kids). I was thinking about trying to do some sort of grad student blog where I would solicit companies to send me free stuff so that I could talk about them on my blog and say how awesome they are and how much every graduate student needs them. If anyone has any ideas of places I should try, let me know.

Lots on my mind.....

I've had a lot on my mind recently. Don't really want to get into all the details since who knows who actually reads this. Did you ever just not know where to go in your life? Whether something is worth fighting for or whether you should just let it go? I dunno....I am a mess about it......

Graduate School Ain't Easy

Let me tell you...on the one hand, it's nice not having a 9-5 job (or 7-3 in the case of being a teacher), but man....being a grad student is exhausting. OSU works on the quarter system. Instead of 14 or 16 week semesters, we have 10 week quarters. Yeah, we have to cram all of the material into 10 short weeks. So we have about 3 weeks of the quarter left and I have a TON of work to do. I have (basically) 4 20-page papers to write. It's exhausting. Ph.D. work is so much different than work as an undergrad. Instead of just reading what is required on the syllabus, I have to read a whole mess of other stuff too. Don't get me wrong, I love learning and getting smarter. It's just exhausting. It's nice to know, though, that the struggle is not mine alone. Since my move here to Cbus, I have been making a lot of friends also in PhD programs and they face many of the same challenges I do. The only challenge they don't face is a cutie pie baby cockatiel who loves to sit on my laptop keyboard when I type and chase the cursor across the screen.

I am making a ton of new friends, which is really cool. I just wish I had more time to hang out with them. I should probably set up more study dates with people, where we can go to a library, coffee shop or somewhere and hang out and do work.

I am very much looking forward to going home for Thanksgiving. I really miss everyone.....

Let it be Known

This blog is not just about my fabulous birdies. It's about my life in general. Right now, though, the birds are consuming a huge chunk of my life.

Life as a doc student ain't easy. I can't tell you the amount of reading I have to do. It's so annoying. There is the required reading, the suggested reading and then the reading you should be doing to make yourself a smarter scholar. I have 4 15-20 page papers due in 4 weeks which is very overwhelming too, as you can imagine. I am not sure what to do or where to start. Sigh. I wish I knew what questions to ask.....

Birds are like Children

So the people on my bird board called their birds "fids" (flying kids). Well, I wholeheartedly agree. I got up extra early this morning to make sure the birds were fed and their cages cleaned before I went off to observe my student teachers. Fizzy has begun to step up without flying away and Sparky is starting to eat grown-up food. I am so proud of them. I know many people think I am nuts for getting birds, but I cannot express how much job they have brought to my life in the past 2 weeks. Yes, I do get frustrated, when Sparky won't stop crying or when Fizzy attacks her, but I find it so rewarding when I walk in the door and they chirp to me. Soon, I'll teach them to talk. But they are so amazing and I love them to bits.

New Bird

Well...the new bird is here. Her name was Rygel but I like Sparky better! She's so cute. She actually likes to be hand fed. While Fizzy sort of licked the syringe, Sparky actually does the baby feeding response. She cries, bobs her head and I feed her that way. She's adorable. She has some funny quirks already. She likes to hang out on the bottom of the cage. I put her on a perch and she goes back to the floor. I don't get it! :)

Oh....I put Fizzy and Sparky on top of the cage together. Fizzy went after her! I yelled at her. Then Sparky went after Fizzgig. The little girl can hold her own, which is great! Needless to say, I am in love with these babies. I want them to get socialized with people so Im hoping to introduce them to as many people as possible. :)

DIlemma

So, I don't know if any of you are aware of what it is like to be a grad student in terms of finances. I am VERY VERY VERY poor. It really sucks. I have an assistantship which pays my tuition, health benefits and a SMALL monthly stipent (which pretty much just goes to rent and utilities). I have been blessed with wonderful parents though who have offered to help out with things, which is great. I just feel bad asking them for money. They are constantly asking me if I need help. When I suggested that I get some type of part time job to help out, they told me they want me to focus on my studies. To make ends meet, I think I would only need $300 or so a month to be okay but I still feel weird/bad/etc for asking. What do you think I should do?