Moving On....

Ok...maybe a broken heart isn't the best graphic to be using here but it kinda fits I guess. So, for those of you who don't know, I was dating a guy for a couple weeks, right before Christmas until kinda recently. Well, it has ended. It was kinda a mutual thing. He kept saying to me that he wasn't good enough for me. I guess he was kinda right. First, he was young, really young, 24. Remember I am 29. He is sorta in a stagnant stage in his life. He never went to college and works in his dad's restaurant. Now, the guy that I date DOES NOT need to have a degree, but he does need to have ambition, and this guy didn't. I mean, he told me he wanted to do something with his life because he wasn't happy with his current state, BUT every suggestion I made or every time we talked about it, there was nothing. He rejected every idea I had, and basically said he was too lazy to want to do a lot of those things. That sorta sent up the red flags. I don't know if this stuff really makes sense.

I feel really bad because I liked him a lot, he is a really great guy. I hope that after things settle down a bit, and the emotion kinda fades away, we will be able to be friendly as we may run into each other around town. I am so thankful for good friends. Two of my closest friends said the same thing, that I need a MAN. Someone who is in a place in his life that he can take care of himself and me, now I am not saying I need a man to take care of me. Instead, he should be in a place in his life where he can. They are right.

The quarter is going well. I am really enjoying my classes. I am taking a women's studies course about the intersections of gender, race, and class in light of the 2008 election. Really great! I am also taking 2 required courses, which I am finding really interesting and learning a lot. I feel like I am really starting to be a PhD student, which is pretty exciting. :) Well, that's it for now. Hopefully it won't be so long between postings.

Dating

Ok..one of my really good friends here in Cbus have been doing a fair share of dating. Not dating each other of course, just dating in general. We've been talking a lot about "taking it slow" and the appropriate "time lines" for things in a relationship. I thought I'd bring this up here and see what you all think.

One of the first things that we talked about was sex. At what point in dating, a relationship, etc. do you "do it." Well, this is what I have been thinking. I think you have to know what you and your partner wants. I mean, we have all done the friends with benefits thing. FWB works when both people have the same expectations going in. I've heard that you can't have FWB without one friend growing feelings. I disagree. But that's not the point. I am not sure when sex is okay. Part of me says, when it feels right. Another part of me says, well, you should wait till you know the person well enough. I dunno....I just don't want to get hurt and I also wouldn't want to her the person I am dating with unclear expectations. I always get blammed for over thinking and over talking things.

I hate the "rules" of dating. You know, a girl gives you a number, you can't call for 2-3 days. You can't call on a Friday or Saturday because that implies you don't have plans, etc, etc. REALLY FREAKIN' STUIPID. My theory, if we are digging each other, we should call, email, text or hang out whenever we want. But again, the two people involved need to have the same idea of what is okay. Take me for example, right now, I have a LOT of free time, for the next week, I'd be happy to spend every night with a person I am dating. BUT once school starts I just can't do that. But it will depend on the week and how my work goes. You know?

The other thing I think about is dates in vs. dates out. Let's face it. I am POOOOOOR. I can't afford to pay for expensive dinners and stuff. Although some people would say the guy should pay, that goes back to my hating the rules of dating. But there should be a mix. Every so often, we should go out to dinner or the movies, getting dressed up and doing the whole nine yards. Maybe once or twice a months. I am just as happy, though, hanging out at home, cooking dinner and sharing a bottle of wine and cuddling on the couch.

Those are my thoughts for now.....comments?

Back Home?

Break was great. I got to see so many friends from home that I haven't seen since I left in August. I also got to spend some time with family. Got to see Katie and Jacob, my best friends/cousins. I also go to hang with my other cousins, Daniel, Lucy and Josh. I love them to death. Also we have two new babies on my mom sides, Bella and Jacoby. They are two of the cutest babies ever. I don't know how they parents can handle their cuteness.

Well, I am kinda back home. My parents house will always be home, but there was nothing like walking the door last night and seeing MY STUFF. So as I previously may (or may not) have mentioned, OSU works on a quarter system. Instead of 14 or 16 week semesters like most schools have, we have 10 week quarters. While most college people go back mid to late January, I go back January 5th. I have a few goals to accomplish before I go back to class. And that is what I would like to discuss in this entry.

1) READ. Next quarter I am taking 3 classes next quarter. 2 education classes with amazing professors, Dr. Bloome and Dr. Dixson. Although they are phenomenal, they also work your ass off! :) I looked at Dr. B's syllabus and almost wet my pants. It's going to be A TON of reading. I am so glad I am only taking 3 classes rather than the 4 I took last quarter. My third class is a women's studies class with Dr. Smooth. The class is focusing on the intersections of race, gender and the election.

2) WORK OUT. I am fat, and happy. I would be happier if I was skinny. The week before I went back to NJ I had gone to the gym almost every day. I don't know if I was actually losing weight, but I felt AMAZING. Being that my parents live in a crazy old people's community there were rules about who can use the gym. Since I wasn't a resident, I couldn't. With my dad's detached retina and mom's work schedule, I didn't ask either of them to go sit with me while I work out. Not really fair to them. Also not fair to my body, either. Luckily, I have this amazing friend Renee and we are back on track. She and I went to the gym this morning, and we plan on going 4-5 days a week during the quarter. I used this cybex cross trainer machine. It's amazing. My legs are KILLING me already. :)

3) HANG OUT. Well, I have been making a lot of friends and a lot of "friends." I have been doing some dating, which has been really great. I am looking forward to seeing wehre some of this is going, one in particular...all right, I'll be honest, currently, there is no one else but this one guy. He's really great. I over analyze everything, as most of you may know and often get involved with people who aren't good for me. This new guy is great. He's really sweet. I am TRYING, to take it slow, but as you know, its not one of my strong points. But I will keep you updated as there is stuff to update...but for right now, I am really happy.

4) AMERICAN IDOL. So my cousin Kim and her brother Howard are really into American Idol. I think I need to Tivo it. Any thoughts?

Hope everyone out there had a great Christmas, Hanukkah or whatever else you celebrate. I did. It was great to be home but it's also great to be back! Please don't hesitate to comment. Your comments keep me going!